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SNL: Palin and Hillary...United

AI: Surprise, surprise

What a long and winding road it has been to the American Idol season finale. Although the match-up of David Cook vs. David Archuleta was not a surprise, it was still suspenseful right down to the finish. When Ryan Seacrest reported a 56-44 blowout early in the broadcast, I didn't know what to think. Did Archuleta's teenage groupies speed dial for four hours and inflate the vote? Or did Cook's fans want Archuleta to not win so bad that they put all of their time and energy into out-voting Little David? Clearly, it was the latter.

I guess today, the day after the results, I feel calm and happy. I was mentally prepared for Archie to win, but am really happy that Cook won. He deserved it more. Plain and simple. He is more prepared to be a star now. I still think Archie is going to be great and have a wonderful career in front of him, but he's just not ready for that yet. Tongue-in-cheek, I think Archie will have one of the best inevitable Christmas albums of all time.

That said, I actually enjoyed Little David's (sorry for the variety of nicknames) performances on Tuesday more than Cook's. I've watched his second song, In This Moment, several times on YouTube and it's quite beautiful. I hope he releases it as a single.

There's not much more to say except the following tidbits:

• I officially will not be seeing "The Love Guru" in theaters.
• Michael Johns & Carly Smithson showed once again last night how they were voted off way too early.
• George Michael actually has an amazing singing voice. I didn't know that.
• David Archuleta sounded better on the OneRepublic song than the actual lead singer.
• David Cook was much better in his Guitar Hero commercial than David Arculeta.
• This is the first year that I would actually consider going to the American Idol concert this summer, but I probably won't.
• I'm never watching this show again...until it comes back on next January.
  

SNL: There Can Be Only One

AI: "Bob"-ing for Lyrics

Mama always said, "Expect the worst, and hope for the best. That way, you'll never be disappointed." Frankly, I don't believe in that (sorry Mom), but I will believe it at least for tonight and tomorrow. You see, I am expecting Syesha to go home tomorrow, but I will hope (beyond all hope!) that Jason has to take his hackey-sack, hemp necklace, and nasty hair back to whichever Winnebago he came from.

But again, my "expectation": Syesha is gone. She has really impressed me the last few weeks. Not with her vocals so much, but with her determination. I mean, she gets almost no love from the judges. No hype. No "molten lava hot." And yet here she is, the last woman standing. Her Tina Turner was definitely more show than vocal, but I can't remember any other contestant perform a song the way she did. Whether it was good or not, I don't know. But we at least got a glimpse of what a Syesha concert might be like. Too bad she's going home. *wink, wink*

I won't beat up Jason any more, because it's just too easy. I mean, his "I'm going with the Bob's - guhuck" theme was just lame to begin with. And both performances were terrible. Even without the forgotten lyrics in the Dylan song, it still sucked. And yet the Marley song was even worse! However, as I've said before, it's better to be ridiculously awful than just okay on this show. And that is why I hope, but don't expect, Jason to be voted off.

Oh yeah, the Davids were pretty good, too. And for the first week in a long time, Archuleta actually out-performed Cook. Not much more to say than that.

Who knows, will Mama Karlovsky's belief system actually work its magic? We'll find out...

AI: Only Two "Sure Things"....Maybe

Quickly, before I go to bed, here's how I would rank the five finalists tonight...

1. David Cook - He didn't blow me away, but he's just solid. Clearly he is ready for the big time. No visible nerves, he just commands the stage. It's like he's been performing for a long time...oh yeah, he has. Really, there isn't any serious competition left. He is the "American Idol", even if he doesn't win. (Contradiction?)

2. David Archuleta - I wasn't crazy about "Sweet Caroline". He tried to change it up a little, but it didn't really give the song its own identity. He needs to keep listening to Andrew Lloyd Weber's suggestion of keeping his eyes open. "America" was very good. He nailed it vocally, and actually showed some energy on stage, which might be a first.

3. Brooke White - Her first song was awful! She looked like she was leading a class of first-graders in a sing along. Just the way she was holding the guitar and had this bright-eyed smile. Ick. Luckily for her (and bad for Jason and Syesha) she really redeemed herself with her second song. Although her voice screeched a bit, she seemed to sing with conviction, not her nervous warble like last week's abomination. Voters tend to have a short memory, so my guess (but not necessarily my hope) is that she'll be safe for one more week.

4. Syesha - All she has done for weeks has given strong performances and all she gets from the judges (specifically Simon) is faint praise. They keep saying she's an actress as if it's an awful thing. How much of Celine's stage personality is truly genuine? Artists have to keep a certain persona to keep fans engaged. Still, she hasn't had a really "WOW" performance. Last week's Broadway one might have been, but she got hurt by going first and pretty much being forgotten. I really don't think she should go...yet. But I certainly won't be surprised.

5. Jason Castro - I think I've been very clear that this guy is not a singer and never will be. He is boring, has no stage personality, and is just an overall doofus. His first song wasn't good, but he was saved by the fact that it's a pretty fun song and might just hold up on his own. His second song was terrible. He had no energy. It looked like he totally phoned it in. Aww, poor baby, a tickle in your throat? No excuse! He should have just stopped, coughed, and started over. That's what Brooke would have done. (just kidding)

I guess I'm at a point now where I'm just waiting for a David-David finale. Yeah, I hate Jason, dislike Brooke, and tolerate Syesha, but none of them deserve to be in the finale. So I'm not going to be worked up until (and I really hope this doesn't happen) either David gets voted off.

What do you think?

Rock On!

So last night I played "Rock Band" for the first time on an Xbox360. I've only played the drums at Best Buy before. This game is so cool. It comes out on Wii in June or July. The game is for four players: vocals, drums, guitar, and bass. I played with Andrew Photopulos and his cousins Greg and Tim. I mostly did vocals, which were very fun, but I could hold my own on bass and guitar because it plays the exact same way as Guitar Hero. I was not as good at drums. I can't do that damn bass drum pedal. What really made my day was it had the song "Creep" by Radiohead, which is one of my favorite songs (and bands).

I will definitely be buying it for Wii when it comes out. Now all I have to work on is getting three friends to play with me.

Did he clinch it?

I'm going to be honest, I didn't think David Cook's performance last night was all that great. His vocals were very wobbly. Even his big note at the end slowly turned flat. However, everybody else in America seems to think it was his victory song. So I've given it a few more listens this morning, and while I now think it was very good (and in fact probably the best of the night), I would still take any of his performances of Elanor Rigby, Hello, or Little Sparrow over last night's. All that said, I'll still buy the song on iTunes when it becomes available.

Best of Last Night's Idol

Jeffrey Aaron Memorial

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AI: The Top Ten

So I'll keep this short and sweet. Gotta get to bed.

Ramiele - Considering we've already seen Carly sing that song during Hollywood week, it probably wasn't a wise choice. For my money, nobody did it better than Carrie Underwood, and Ramiele is no Carrie Underwood. I'm really hoping she gets bit by the "Going First Curse".

Jason Castro - Who's voting for this guy? He's not a talented singer, plain and simple. Simon had it right that he's like a busker outside a subway. He's a good strummer, sure, but is he ever going to really sing?

Syesha - One of my favorite performances of the night. Even though I didn't know her song, she clearly sang it well. She's got a lot of soul in that voice. And she ain't bad to look at either. One thing I'm tired of is she keeps saying "Oh Lo" during her judging. I think I've heard it from Ramiele also. It's probably some stupid inside joke about how one of their mothers says "Oh Lord". Please stop.

Chikezie - Kind of a downer since his last two weeks, but overall it was good. Again, Simon has it right, he is very old-fashioned. He's definitely heading to the Luther Vandross demographic. But I like his voice and his performances. Stick around please.

Brooke White - Eesh. Not a good arrangement of the song. Has shown a lot of vulnerability lately. I'm glad she's back behind the piano. She has NO RYTHYM. (See last week) Just stay on a piano bench or stool and don't move.

Michael Johns - Finally, I loved his performance. He was starting to lose it, but this week's Queen performance blew me away. Match it up with is Bohemian Rhapsody from Hollywood week, and maybe we've found his only nitch is Queen music. Unfortunately, he probably won't be able to get away with that the whole competition. But at least this was a memorable performance. The only issue now is, has he peaked too soon?

Carly Smithson - Not as bad as the judges made it seem. She can shreik like there's no tomorrow. Still, I can't help but feel like the judges simply don't want her to win.

David Archuleta - What the hell song was that? Is that going to be his number one single from his debut album "The Little Davey Happy Time Love One-another Extravaganza" ? Don't get me wrong, he sang it beautifully, but Simon said it, there needed to be costumed characters jumping around and hugging everybody. I still like him a lot, but he needs to pick better songs.

Kristly Lee Cook - Was Simon patronizing her that she picked a song that people would love regardless of how she sang it? I mean, she sang it very well, and mostly on-key. But with Amazing Grace and God Bless The U.S.A. under her belt, can God Bless America be that far behind? I don't know what else to say about her. I can all but guarantee she'll be in the bottom 2, but will she survive yet again?

David Cook - Okay, can someone who sings another person's cover of another person's song be called creative and original? What if they did it three weeks in a row? I'm not sure how I feel about this. All of the singers want to make each song "their own", but is it okay if they copy someone else's "their own"? At least he's giving credit where it's due. He's trying not to take full credit for the arrangements. Regardless, he's a great singer and will surely front a band soon enough.

My dear friend Jeff Aaron

The last 24 hours have been perhaps the worst in my life. My dear friend Jeff Aaron died Monday, March 17th at his home. Lucky for me, Jeff and I shared a nice evening Friday night when we went to a math lecture and dinner. We spent several hours talking about anything and everything. I never would have guessed that my friend would be dead just three days later. I'll cherish that evening with him as one final, lasting memory. I've never experienced a loss like this before, and it hurts so much. Fortunately, we have a very tight-knit family here at GBS, especially in the math department. We will get through this together. There is a very nice write-up about Jeff currently on the GBS web site...

http://gbs.glenbrook.k12.il.us/

I will miss him forever.

AI: Hmm...Interesting

I had to debate with myself whether or not I found it suspicious that David Hernandez got booted tonight from AI. I thought "Would the producers simply rig the voting to make him lose instead of cause the embarassment of kicking him off the show because of the whole stripper thing?"

While consipiracy theories are fun, I quickly ditched this idea. The reason David H. got booted was because he was just too "luke warm" on Tuesday. It is best to be amazing good or amazingly bad on this show. Needless to say, Kristy Lee Cook and Ramiele Malubay were amazingly bad. So bad that their fans knew there was no chance of them staying...unless they voted a ridiculous amount of times. Which is probably what they did.

I am even more upset that Ramiele wasn't even in the Bottom 3. That is truly absurd. Is she getting the coveted "Asian Vote"? That would be sad if it were true.

Did I hear Ryan correctly? They're going to do Lennon-McCartney again next week?

Kathering McPhee was really good. Beautiful song, beautiful girl, beautiful performace. However, isn't there a better technology these days than that hideous earpiece? Do they really think the "flesh" color is fooling everybody?

The whole live phone call gimmick is interesting. But it might get old really fast. In fact, it was getting old already tonight.

AI: The Top 12!

It's on! Now the real competition begins. Last night was probably one of the best "Top 12" nights ever. Not everybody was perfect (yee-haw!) but overall the performances were very strong. Even the "clear frontrunner" had an awful night. Here's the rundown...

Sayesha (sp?) Mercado - Not to sound like Paula, but my first comment is that she looked really beautiful last night. Her hair was really nice. I didn't realize she had such a beautiful face. I'm used to being distracted by her 'fro. That being said, I think she is at a serious risk for being cut tonight. As good as it was, it wasn't "Oh my God!" good. And, I am officially stating that there is a strong "Going First Curse". She performed at 7:12, voting didn't start until 9. It would be a real shame too, because she is NOT the worst in the bunch. That one is coming up...

Chikezie - Awesome! His best performance ever. I still can't get over that he's the lovechild of Alfonso Ribiero (Carlton Banks) and Forrest Whitaker, but he was great last night. Took a really cool song, changed it up a couple times, nailed the notes, and he, as Randy would say, "Worked it out!" (PS - I loved Ryan's head-shaking impression of Chik's mom)

Ramiele Malubay - She has got to go. She does a great job of sucking the life out of a song. She has NO stage presence. No energy. Personally, she's my vote to go tonight.

Jason Castro - I am definitely not "drinking the Kool-Aid" for him. I still think he has no voice, at least not anything better than your average hippie with a guitar. He doesn't even sing...he whisper/mumble/sings. And again, he totally botched the last falsetto note. He doesn't deserve to leave tonight, but that's more an indication of how bad some of the others were. The clock is ticking on this guy for me.

Carly Smithson - She rocked her song. Yeah, she's a screamer. But she's a screamer who can hit the notes. And she's a performer...she can really work the crowd and work the stage. I'm not a fan of her eyes or eyebrows, but what can you do?

David Hernandez - Yikes. Didn't pick a good song that you can modernize. Too much of a do-wop beat. He's right though, it clearly had a Chuck Berry feel on guitar. It's too bad, his stock had been pretty high, but it's definitely falling.

Brooke White - She seemed very nervous throughout her performance. I'm really impressed that so far all of the people who play an instrument while they sing haven't completely botched it. I was sorta waiting for an awful chord to come out of the piano, but she did a nice job. As usual, her vocals were so-so but great at the same time. She's not a power vocalist. Always the mellow stuff. While David H.'s stock is falling, hers continues to climb steadily.

David Cook - He is desparately in need of a makeover. I can't believe anybody thinks his hair is "stylish". It almost looks like he's compensating for thinning hair, like he's trying to cover up parts that are clearly showing early signs of male pattern baldness. But I digress... His cover of Eleanor Rigby was pretty rockin'. The verses were just a'ight for me, but he sure did bring it home on the chorus. Great job. Anybody else think he's got Jack Black's rock voice and weird, elastic mouth? I'm such a hater.

Amanda Overmyer - Yeah, I am so done with her. At least she looked pretty, and she can actually smile. The hair is still icky though. Right now I think her only future is as the lead singer of a blues band. She's got the perfect rasp for it, and nothing else. I was with Simon, I could barely understand the words she sang. Again, she's going to be around for a while, but I don't know why.

Michael Johns - Across the Universe is one of my favorite Beatles songs, and he did just about as decent a cover as you can with that song. It's slow and plodding, yet melodic, so I disagree with the judges' assessment that he should have "done more" with it, making crazy runs and whatnot. Even though it's a great song, maybe it wasn't the right one for him.

Kristy Lee Cook - Best of the night by far. I got up in my living room and asked my wife if she wanted to do-si-do with me. I even got out some spoons and clanged them on my knee. Yee-haw! ...but seriously folks... She sucks. And even though she will leave a serious hot girl void in the competition, it is definitely time for her to go. Maybe she and Ramiele can go tonight.

David Archuleta - Brilliant move. He can't hold front-runner status all season, so he purposely botched the song (several times) to knock him down some pegs, because no matter what he'll make it through. Now the focus can go to other contestants (Carly, David C., Chikezie) and he can fly below the radar for a week or two. His youth sure did shine through though, didn't it. He really looked nervous and uncomfortable. I forget who said they liked the big stage better than the small one, but maybe David feels the opposite way. At first I thought it was weird that he said he didn't know much music from the Lennon-McCartney era, but he's only 17, born in 1991. Who knows, maybe kids that age just don't go that far back in time to get acquainted with good music.

Funniest Moment of the night - Simon asking Randy "What's the Irish girl's name?" He didn't even seem embarassed that he didn't know.

Prediction: Kristy Lee Cook gets the boot. Don't be surprised if it's Sayesha. (But I'm still hoping for Ramiele)

50% Ain't Bad

Thank You America for booting two very un-deserving contestants...Kady Malloy and Luke Menard.

I'm not sad about Danny Noriega getting the boot. He showed absolutely nothing special during three straight weeks. He had a very solid voice, but just didn't perform anything worthwhile.

I am very upset about Asia'h Epperson not getting through, and I think I know why she didn't get the votes....she performed first on Wednesday. I would love to see the statistics about how many times people get voted off when they performed near the beginning of the show.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Isn't someone who performs at 7 pm at a disadvantage when their fans can't vote for them until 8 pm? Whereas the person who performs just minutes before 8 can have their fans vote immediately. I'm just saying, there is probably a pretty high correlation.

Alright, the game is on!

AI: Top 8 Girls

Well here we are...hours away from finding out who will be the Top 12 Finalists for AI's Season 7. Unfortunately, the rules say that the top 12 must be six guys and six girls. This season, it would be a much better show with 7 guys and 5 girls. But rules are rules... So here is how the top 8 girls fared in their last attempt before the finals:

Asia'h Epperson - I actually loved her performance of Whitney's "Dance with Somebody". She's got such a big smile, and she genuinely had fun with the song. I agree with the Entertainment Weekly suggestion that all of Whitney Houston's songs be banned from American Idol. I really like Asia'h's personality and hope she stays in the competition.

Kady Malloy - She absolutely brutalized one of my favorite Queen songs. She was very off on the big notes, and she kinda comes off as a bitch. She absolutely needs to go!

Carly Smithson - I didn't recognize the song she sang, but it was very good. She has an ugly face when she screams out the big notes, but she still hits them. One of the few girls that actually deserves to be in the finals.

Brooke White - I have never been a fan of the Pat Benatar song she sang, but she put a really nice spin on it that made it much more appealing to me. As usual, Randy and Paula have awful opinions. I think Simon has a little crush on Brooke. He gives her a lot more praise that I think she deserves. But again, she is definitely Finals material.

Amanda Overmyer - I am definitely NOT drinking the Kool-Aid on her. She is not a good vocalist, and an even worse performer. She stares at the ground the entire time when she sings. She doesn't smile, doesn't laugh, and is overall just boring. She'll probably make it through, but I hope she doesn't stay for too long.

Kristy Lee Cook - Man, I want her to be good. She's got a great look, and even has a decent voice. But she definitely lost some serious points with her "I acted like a dog" story. That isn't embarassing, it's grounds for being institutionalized. She's definitely on the fence. I won't be surprised either way if she stays or goes.

Ramiele Malubay - I can't stand her. She has a very strong voice, but she is so boring when she performs. She stands in one place. She doesn't try to "work the crowd" or anything. I hope she goes, but again, I won't be surprised.

Syesha Mercado - Again, I didn't recognize the song. She sang it very well. She has a strong voice. However, she's so far a one-trick pony. I don't see much room for variety in her.

Needless to say, I was very unimpressed with the girls tonight. My guess (or hope) is that Kady Malloy and Syesha Mercado go home tonight. Ah hell, who knows.

American Idol Fashion Dud

I will post my comments on tonight's (boring) female performances later, but first I need to mention a disturbing fashion trend I have seen a lot on the show....scarves everywhere! Sayesha, Amanda, and Danny have worn them way too much.

Here's the deal, a scarf is meant to warm your mouth, cheeks, or neck. That is it's only purpose. I'm tired of seeing people wear them all the time for no reason. Tonight's offender was David Archuleta. The thing with his was he had it bunched so tight around his neck that there was no extra material to hang down on his chest. He looked like he was wearing one of those foam neck braces people where after a neck injury. Please, no more scarves!

AI: Top 8 Guys

Alright, since I am getting a lot of crap about my blog, I am going to use it for what I would normally talk about with people I know...Television!

So here is a short recap of tonight's American Idol Top 8 Guys show, which will bring us the six finalists who will compete in the finals starting next week. Here's how they did tonight.

Luke Menard - Sang "Wake Me Up (Before You G0-Go)". He has a real wussy voice, so the Wham! song fit him perfectly. The only problem is...he sucks, his voice is weak, and he has no personality. He desparately needs to go!

David Archuleta - Sang a Phil Collins song - I don't remember the name. He wasn't quite as jaw-dropping as he has been in the past. And I wonder if that wasn't part of his strategy. Show he's not perfect, show he's human. He is still the best vocalist, but he showed some vulnerability.

Danny Noriega - Not good. But he'll probably make it through. I used to think he's a shoo-in, but now I wouldn't be that surprised if he got cut.

David Hernandez - Yes, he's a male stripper. I think Simon may have made an under-the-breath comment about that, but I couldn't hear it very well. He sang his song very well. He misses the big notes a little bit, but he's still got a powerful voice that could get very good.

Michael Johns - First performance in these three weeks that I thought he really hit the notes and performed great. I finally saw that he could be a really good artist and might actually worth seeing in concert.

David Cook - Really cool cover of a crappy Lionel Richie song. I completely agree that it could be a single right now. That's how you know you're going to be something special.

Jason Castro - I did not like his stupid little rendition of Hallelujah. I think Simon is dead wrong about this guy. He is NOT a good singer. I can't stand looking at his eyes, his hair, or his stupid smile. But because voters are often stupid, he'll probably make it through.

Chikezie - Not a great song choice. He's a very solid singer. Kind of a weak Peabo Bryson. Not very current. But to give a Simon quote, "I didn't hate it".

So what's my prediction? The two gentlemen leaving us on Thursday will be Luke Menard and Chikezie.

Da Bears....Suck

So how exactly are the Bears better than last year's 7-9 team?

They release Muhsin Muhammad, Fred Miller, and Ruben Brown, let Bernard Berrian go to the Vikings, and don't even attempt to sign Michael Turner. I have proven this year after year, Michael Turner is an MVP waiting to happen. Every year I trade for him in Madden, and the next year he's the NFC Player of the Year at a minimum.

Now I hear that we're not even going to get Bryant Johnson at wide receiver. He's probably the best option available. Angelo is definitely on the clock to fix this team big time in the draft.

Origins

Many people know this story, and I won't kid you, it's not a great story.

As a host at Chili's in the fall of 1998, I had to take to-go orders on the phone. One day I received an order for a few orders of ribs. The gentleman asked "That comes with cole slaw right? I'll take an extra side of cole slaw." I didn't remember us serving cole slaw, but the guy sounded so sure that I wrote it down. After I hung up, I handed the order over to the bartender to ring it in, and he told me that we don't have cole slaw. So then the manager Tony had to call the guy back and let him know that he won't be receiving any cole slaw. Pretty simple mistake. Nobody got hurt.

Well my manager came up front and chastised me that "Chili's is not a f-ing deli. We don't have macaroni salad, cole slaw, potato salad, or 3-bean salad." For the next five years as I worked at Chili's, I was know as Joey Cole Slaw, or Slaw for short.

Later, when I decided I wanted to be a math teacher, a different manager tried to change it to Joey Cosine, but it didn't stick.

If nothing else, Cole Slaw has to be a pretty unique nickname. Do you know of any others?

EXTRA: Because the story isn't that exciting, and I'm kinda embarassed about telling it, I will sometimes offer up a different explanation....I just say that Karlovsky is Czech for cole slaw. You'd be surprised how many people will believe that.

Why not me?

It seems like everybody has a blog these days. Why not me?
I was very upset to see that karlovsky.blogspot.com was already taken....by a Frenchie!
French Karlovsky's? Someone translate that blog and let me know if there's anything un-Karlovskian on it.

Well here it is...my first post. I am officially entrenched in blog-culture.